Questions and Answers
Q: In the last year, my fifth grader has become so negative. Nothing is ever right. My child doesn’t seem to like school, the teacher or anything else for that matter. Last week, we did something special together—just the two of us. Later, my child said it was “All right, I guess.” I’m losing patience. What can I do?
A: You are wise to be concerned. Constant negativity reduces motivation and increases the likelihood of stress, anxiety and depression. Negativity can also impair memory, attention and problem-solving skills.
Here are some steps to take:- Ask about what makes your child feel down, and pay close attention to the answer. If there is one issue that comes up over and over, you may have hit on the problem. Brainstorm ways your child can address the situation.
- Let your child complain, but don’t dwell on the topic. If your child whines about an assignment, listen for a minute or two. Then, redirect your child’s focus by saying, “Well, you still need to finish it.” Say that everyone has responsibilities—whether they like them or not.
- Model the attitude you’d like to see. Face disappointments with some positivity. Say things like, “I’m bummed I have to work on Saturday, but it will feel great to finish this project!”
- Realize you aren’t responsible for fixing everything. Empower your child to solve some problems independently.
- Make a medical appointment if your child seems consistently anxious or depressed.
Reprinted with permission from the March 2024 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2024 The Parent Institute®, a division of PaperClip Media, Inc.